sadomassochist

you spend your whole life in the bathroom and your children grow up outside the door. and one day when you're done taking a shit you come out to discover they are all grown up. your daughter is returning home at 2 am  from a kegger, and she says "dad, this is early for me" there is a used condom clinging to her short school-girl skirt but she's so drunk she doesn't notice. all you can do is stare at her soaked and smelling of beer breasts. so young, so perky... so not the daughter you remember having. she didn't have breasts back when you used to carry her on your shoulders at festivals, and take naps together with her tiny body curled on you

a small girl, pale and bruised sits in a corner playing with her pet spider, counting the shadows in the cobwebs and nursing her bruises with imaginary kisses and an imaginary mother who doesn't hide away when the beast comes. a gutter punk in a huge tye dye t-shirt and plaid pajama pants and a bandanna (fuck you i dont match) and a boyfriend as an added accessorie thumbing it all the way across country in a spasm of impulsive childlike bliss. i don't care where i end up as long as it's somewhere else. i'll forget my own name and prove to myself i can survive on nothing but survival skills and the ability to find drugs. or that one moment w